Saturday, November 27, 2021
I've known both Ken and Lea for 41 years since initially becoming friends with Lea in 1980 teaching together at the junior high in Sandy, Oregon. Both Ken and Lea are amazing, intelligent, creative, caring people. I was 17 years younger than they and (and still am!) and it just shows that it didn't matter to them how young or old you were to become friends with them. Ken was that magnet others talked about--always open to you and caring--and my husband and I quickly became close friends, sharing many great times together biking, hiking, boating, going on beach trips, and playing cards. And ALSO playing racquetball--yes, RACQUETBALL (which I begged him to play and he did and loved it and he gave it his all and was great at it except for the times his racquet wasn't as long as a tennis racquet, which caused him to say indistinguishable words under his breath often throughout a game. All I have to say is that over the many years of knowing Ken, both my husband and I have learned a lot from him, from the knowledge he shared with us, to the lessons learned from his personality, his art, his humbleness and grace. I thought the memorial for him was perfect in every way because it gave tribute to all of the wonderful aspects of him, his thoughtfulness, his kindness, his talents and gifts, and the joy he gave to others. In tribute I'd like to share this poem I wrote about him for him and his family.
WHEN KEN SMILED
It hit you like plunging through warm water
after freezing rain
when Ken smiled.
It pelted you with pride
when you showed him your talents
and Ken smiled.
It didn’t matter if you made a mistake,
a wrong move, a bad shot, a poorly played card,
or misspoke, your message so clumsily garbled—
next would come his sunbeam smile.
You could do no harm, all was forgiven,
a joke arising from it to replace it
to make you both laugh over it.
When Ken smiled
our walls fell away, the room illuminated.
All the troubles of the world subsided
and we again knew how to laugh,
to love the moment
and treasure each time we were together.
When Ken smiled
you’d made him so proud
he wrote about it, photographed it, made it into art,
shared it—for all the world to see.
When Ken smiled
you were golden in his eyes.
Through his ambitions he smiled and
when he smiled
we knew life’s true gift was caring for others
and making the most of the life you had by giving your all to them.
Spending your love helping those who had nothing—
giving them something.
Helping the impoverished, the union workers, the underachievers—
his students, his friends, his family,
giving his sweat, his soul, his heart.
When Ken smiled with those dashing white teeth
the next joke was coming.
When Ken smiled
he presented you gifts from his garden, fish from fishing trips,
baked sweets from his oven, a pat on the back after your game.
When Ken smiled
you couldn’t help but reflect it.
When Ken smiled his poem was done,
words fighting injustices, a lyrical protest,
or just poking fun.
As he always did! His humor was contagious,
his teasing outrageous, his carefully crafted words courageous,
his laughter ever enduring.
Can you count the number of times you’ve seen his smile?
Can anyone?
If we add the times
the sun has sparkled on the earth,
how many pebbles on a riverbank would that be?
A dear one like Ken is unique.
Amazing.
As I watch
his children, and his grandchildren, and his wife
reflect the best of him,
the very same ocean deep love he gave to them,
it makes the world a better place.
As it always did
when Ken smiled.
For my dear friend Ken, and his family, Carey Salisbury, November 2021
(503) 505-9978
